As Life So Good

 "How do you deal with negativity?" Yes, I'd like to bring up that topic today, please. :)

But before that, please bear with my kinda very unrelated outfit post first~ (ノ^ヮ^)ノ*:･ﾟ✧

GOWIGASA DOPE MCMLXXXV Snapback, BnW Striped Turtleneck Top, Baggy Semi Elastic Denim Shorts, Black Slim Backpack | TLTSN Red Mary Jane Flats

GOWIGASA DOPE MCMLXXXV Snapback, BnW Striped Turtleneck Top, Baggy Semi Elastic Denim Shorts, Black Slim Backpack | TLTSN Red Mary Jane Flats

SO!

Let's continue talking about the topic I mentioned up there: "How do you deal with negativity?". Two days ago, I posted these tweets:

https://twitter.com/jessyamada/status/404984213708886017
English loose translation
perhatian: caring
kepo (from singapore slang 'kaypoh'): busybody / meddling
ga kepo: aloof / does not like being a busybody / meddling with other people's business
sombong: arrogant / snob
berkualitas: have a certain standard of quality
mahal: expensive
murah: cheap

https://twitter.com/jessyamada/status/404984364594761728
English loose translation
banyak temen: have a lot of friends
ansos: anti social / introvert by nature
dimusuhin: banished / alienated
tegas: bold
batu: stubborn
ngalah: pacifist / phlegmatic

Got the idea yet? Yep, it's about how negativity loves screwing with people's brain and turning plain X into (-)X. Well, even though I've posted the answer too up there, which is pretty obvious: Just Be Positive; I'd still like to dig furthermore into this matter.

Nowadays, with the help of internet and various social media platforms like Twitter, Youtube, Facebook, Instagram, Blog, etc.. we have the privilege of getting a whole lot more information about something (or maybe even get 'exposed' to the ones we don't actually need) AND we also get a lot more chances to express our opinions about those things. 

Now, if you're reading my blog right now, I assume that you're not new to this cyber world and that most of you netizens must be pretty familiar with these terms already: cyberbullying / public thrashing or attacks, hate accounts, spamming abusive comments, etc. Well, for you newbies, they're all about humiliating / defaming / harassing / intimidating / harming people (individually or as a group) or companies online. Believe it or not, most of the cases are:

- Unprovoked

- Done anonymously

- Simply based on negative thoughts or intentions about that person / group / business

So, why cyberbully? While for some people it might be entertaining, others do it for revenge, sabotaging competitions or simply for seeking attention. Whatever their motives are, they do not care about the damage they're doing to the victims (some even INTEND for the damage to happen). And when it comes to cyberbullying, they can simply run and hide after doing the bullying and not dealing with the damages afterwards, by being an anonymous. Easy? Yes. Classy? Not at all.

I fought a lot when I was a kid and every now and then, I deal with negativity online and offline. But I NEVER fight unprovoked (never accept being bullied either, though) / judge people relentlessly / spread lies or bad rumours about someone or something (sometimes I wonder about people who buy and read gossip tabloids. Do they do it to make them feel good about themselves? If so, I feel bad for them) / talk badly about someone or something or intentionally hurt other people or their businesses (heck, I don't even have the interest to at least care about most of them and besides, I choose my words carefully. If I don't have anything nice to say about someone or something, I'd prefer to be silent. Unless it's for positive outcome, e.g. telling a best friend that her boyfriend cheated on her, telling your interior designer that it is an ugly wallpaper for your dream house, telling your readers to be careful of a marketing company that disguises their profit with charity. Other than that, I really don't see the point of mocking other people or their businesses out of nowhere, especially when I'm a firm believer of karma) / or above all, choose anonymity online. The last point irritates me the most. Sometimes, I wish I could put my hand through the screen and grab those anonymous cowards by the collar, saying, "Say it to my face. I DARE YOU."

Back to the topic. Being through some fights (verbally and physically), I can honestly say that even when I won, the victory never taste as good as doing something positive. Not even close.

By 'doing something positive', I'm not saying that you should all immediately go helping people, do charity or join a volunteer trip (although they must feel really good, yo). It could be as simple as: 

Avoiding the negativity and keep being positive all the time.

As simple as it sounds, it's actually a hard thing to do, as human as we all are. I myself still doing my best to keep it up. But it really is ↑↑↑ the right way to go.

Look, there are some things that may cause people to resort to negativity. If the source of the negativity is certain people around you (e.g. gossipy / sarcastic / malicious / discouraging / toxic people, etc.) and you have done everything you can to make them change for the better but it doesn't work out, you should really consider to cut them out of your life, IF you want to move forward, of course.

 But mostly (and sadly), negativity comes within yourself and one thing that might lead people to drag each other down is none other than ENVY. I deal with envy all the time. I envy kids whom parents are meant for each other, girls with easy-to-maintain skin, filthy rich kids who don't have to work, etc. 

https://twitter.com/jessyamada/status/404984595126292480

Can you imagine how I'd be doing right now if I kept concentrating my energy on envying those people? I might become one of those pathetic losers who keep whining and pitying myself or worse, one of those bitter sarcastic people who curse others for what they have instead of pushing myself to do better and better and getting to where I am today.

I might not be blessed with parents who are destined for each other, but I do learn a lot from their relationship since I was a kid: what to find and what to avoid in a partner later when I grow up, keys for a successful relationship, how to keep it logical while still maintaining the magical lovey dovey things, etc.

I might have a hard-to-please skin, but that makes me learn a lot about skincare, treatments, safe makeup products, healthy food and habits that turns out to not only giving temporary solutions to my skin problems, but also benefiting my skin in the long run.

I might not be an heiress of something big nor do I have a trust fund to live off*, but I do love making money, I am blessed with jobs that I love and I feel truly blessed and honored to have the opportunity to be the backbone of my family at a pretty young age, together with my beloved sister.

*FYI, Gandhi even said that 'wealth without work' is considered a social sin. ^^;

Alright then, I hope this post can somehow benefit you. :)

As life so good, my answer to the question, "How do you deal with negativity?" is #JustBePositive! :) What's yours? Have you got an issue with negativity before? Kindly tell me "How do you deal with negativity?" in the comment box below, I'd love to read it! :D

Nevertheless, thank you so much for reading and see you guys on my next post~

Jessica Yamada

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