As Life So Good

 "How do you deal with negativity?" Yes, I'd like to bring up that topic today, please. :)

But before that, please bear with my kinda very unrelated outfit post first~ (ノ^ヮ^)ノ*:･ﾟ✧

GOWIGASA DOPE MCMLXXXV Snapback, BnW Striped Turtleneck Top, Baggy Semi Elastic Denim Shorts, Black Slim Backpack | TLTSN Red Mary Jane Flats

GOWIGASA DOPE MCMLXXXV Snapback, BnW Striped Turtleneck Top, Baggy Semi Elastic Denim Shorts, Black Slim Backpack | TLTSN Red Mary Jane Flats

SO!

Let's continue talking about the topic I mentioned up there: "How do you deal with negativity?". Two days ago, I posted these tweets:

https://twitter.com/jessyamada/status/404984213708886017
English loose translation
perhatian: caring
kepo (from singapore slang 'kaypoh'): busybody / meddling
ga kepo: aloof / does not like being a busybody / meddling with other people's business
sombong: arrogant / snob
berkualitas: have a certain standard of quality
mahal: expensive
murah: cheap

https://twitter.com/jessyamada/status/404984364594761728
English loose translation
banyak temen: have a lot of friends
ansos: anti social / introvert by nature
dimusuhin: banished / alienated
tegas: bold
batu: stubborn
ngalah: pacifist / phlegmatic

Got the idea yet? Yep, it's about how negativity loves screwing with people's brain and turning plain X into (-)X. Well, even though I've posted the answer too up there, which is pretty obvious: Just Be Positive; I'd still like to dig furthermore into this matter.

Nowadays, with the help of internet and various social media platforms like Twitter, Youtube, Facebook, Instagram, Blog, etc.. we have the privilege of getting a whole lot more information about something (or maybe even get 'exposed' to the ones we don't actually need) AND we also get a lot more chances to express our opinions about those things. 

Now, if you're reading my blog right now, I assume that you're not new to this cyber world and that most of you netizens must be pretty familiar with these terms already: cyberbullying / public thrashing or attacks, hate accounts, spamming abusive comments, etc. Well, for you newbies, they're all about humiliating / defaming / harassing / intimidating / harming people (individually or as a group) or companies online. Believe it or not, most of the cases are:

- Unprovoked

- Done anonymously

- Simply based on negative thoughts or intentions about that person / group / business

So, why cyberbully? While for some people it might be entertaining, others do it for revenge, sabotaging competitions or simply for seeking attention. Whatever their motives are, they do not care about the damage they're doing to the victims (some even INTEND for the damage to happen). And when it comes to cyberbullying, they can simply run and hide after doing the bullying and not dealing with the damages afterwards, by being an anonymous. Easy? Yes. Classy? Not at all.

I fought a lot when I was a kid and every now and then, I deal with negativity online and offline. But I NEVER fight unprovoked (never accept being bullied either, though) / judge people relentlessly / spread lies or bad rumours about someone or something (sometimes I wonder about people who buy and read gossip tabloids. Do they do it to make them feel good about themselves? If so, I feel bad for them) / talk badly about someone or something or intentionally hurt other people or their businesses (heck, I don't even have the interest to at least care about most of them and besides, I choose my words carefully. If I don't have anything nice to say about someone or something, I'd prefer to be silent. Unless it's for positive outcome, e.g. telling a best friend that her boyfriend cheated on her, telling your interior designer that it is an ugly wallpaper for your dream house, telling your readers to be careful of a marketing company that disguises their profit with charity. Other than that, I really don't see the point of mocking other people or their businesses out of nowhere, especially when I'm a firm believer of karma) / or above all, choose anonymity online. The last point irritates me the most. Sometimes, I wish I could put my hand through the screen and grab those anonymous cowards by the collar, saying, "Say it to my face. I DARE YOU."

Back to the topic. Being through some fights (verbally and physically), I can honestly say that even when I won, the victory never taste as good as doing something positive. Not even close.

By 'doing something positive', I'm not saying that you should all immediately go helping people, do charity or join a volunteer trip (although they must feel really good, yo). It could be as simple as: 

Avoiding the negativity and keep being positive all the time.

As simple as it sounds, it's actually a hard thing to do, as human as we all are. I myself still doing my best to keep it up. But it really is ↑↑↑ the right way to go.

Look, there are some things that may cause people to resort to negativity. If the source of the negativity is certain people around you (e.g. gossipy / sarcastic / malicious / discouraging / toxic people, etc.) and you have done everything you can to make them change for the better but it doesn't work out, you should really consider to cut them out of your life, IF you want to move forward, of course.

 But mostly (and sadly), negativity comes within yourself and one thing that might lead people to drag each other down is none other than ENVY. I deal with envy all the time. I envy kids whom parents are meant for each other, girls with easy-to-maintain skin, filthy rich kids who don't have to work, etc. 

https://twitter.com/jessyamada/status/404984595126292480

Can you imagine how I'd be doing right now if I kept concentrating my energy on envying those people? I might become one of those pathetic losers who keep whining and pitying myself or worse, one of those bitter sarcastic people who curse others for what they have instead of pushing myself to do better and better and getting to where I am today.

I might not be blessed with parents who are destined for each other, but I do learn a lot from their relationship since I was a kid: what to find and what to avoid in a partner later when I grow up, keys for a successful relationship, how to keep it logical while still maintaining the magical lovey dovey things, etc.

I might have a hard-to-please skin, but that makes me learn a lot about skincare, treatments, safe makeup products, healthy food and habits that turns out to not only giving temporary solutions to my skin problems, but also benefiting my skin in the long run.

I might not be an heiress of something big nor do I have a trust fund to live off*, but I do love making money, I am blessed with jobs that I love and I feel truly blessed and honored to have the opportunity to be the backbone of my family at a pretty young age, together with my beloved sister.

*FYI, Gandhi even said that 'wealth without work' is considered a social sin. ^^;

Alright then, I hope this post can somehow benefit you. :)

As life so good, my answer to the question, "How do you deal with negativity?" is #JustBePositive! :) What's yours? Have you got an issue with negativity before? Kindly tell me "How do you deal with negativity?" in the comment box below, I'd love to read it! :D

Nevertheless, thank you so much for reading and see you guys on my next post~

Jessica Yamada

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Teliti Sebelum Charity

Not so long ago, I tweeted about this...

Some people responded to my tweet:

The reason I highlighted the comment above is because THAT'S my point exactly. But before we rush to conclusions, please read on (mostly Indonesian language from now on, since this is Indonesian issue anyway haha): 

16 Agustus. Saya sedang makan siang sendirian di restoran Sushi Hana, Mal Puri Indah. Tiba-tiba datang dua orang, satu laki-laki dan satu perempuan. Keduanya memperkenalkan diri dengan sopan, minta izin duduk di hadapan saya, bercerita singkat tentang anak-anak yang terkena sakit leukimia dan bagaimana sebuah yayasan bernama YAI membantu anak-anak malang tersebut.   

      Di saat yang sama, makanan saya datang dan hp saya berdering. Karena sudah lapar dan telepon itu penting, dan saya sudah tahu niat kedua orang ini adalah untuk keperluan donasi, maka langsung* saja tanpa basa-basi saya tanya berapa** yang harus saya sumbang?  

      The guy said, "Seratus ribu, kak. Tapi cuma sekali*** lho. Dan itu sudah bisa membantu anak-anak leukimia tadi." Saya keluarkan dompet, ambil uang, dan ternyata cuma ada Rp. 90.000,- (maklum jarang pakai cash), tapi mereka bilang tidak apa-apa, kemudian mereka mengambil uang tersebut, menyobek halaman belakang sebuah buku kecil (which later on became THE book), meminta saya mengisi beberapa data pribadi, baru kemudian mereka berterima kasih dan pergi keluar restoran meninggalkan saya buku tersebut.

     Sambil lanjut makan, saya buka-buka buku tersebut, isinya berbagai voucher yang (mungkin menarik bagi orang lain tapi) tidak menarik untuk saya. But well, I thought, it's just a bonus anyway. SAMPAI tiba-tiba saya sadar ada tulisan kecil di bagian bawah cover buku itu bahwa "Rp. 10.000,- dari hasil penjualan Voucher ini akan disumbangkan untuk YAI". BOOM! Totally dumbfounded.  

Jadi, saudara-saudara sekalian, saya itu barusan BELI VOUCHER, bukannya nyumbang (ya... adalah 10%. Etapi karena saya tadi cuma ada Rp. 90.000, berarti saya melek-melek beli voucher nya doang dong ya? *pats myself on the back*).

*Here's my silly move. Because I didn't bother to learn more about it,  saya jadi tidak tahu bagaimana bentuk donasi itu sesungguhnya (in this case, dari uang sejumlah Rp.100.000 yang diminta, hanya Rp.10.000 yang disumbangkan ke YAI, sedangkan niat saya adalah menyumbangkan Rp.100.000 tersebut sepenuhnya).

**Beberapa yayasan punya standar rata-rata yang dibutuhkan, contohnya Pesat Future Center yang memberitahu saya bahwa dengan Rp.100.000 per bulan, saya sudah bisa mensponsori seorang anak desa.

***Some of these guys come in daily basis to my bf's place in Pantai Indah Kapuk and it's getting on his nerves. Pas ditegur, "Dari kemarin kan saya udah bilang, saya udah pernah nyumbang ke salah satu orang kamu. Kenapa sih balik lagi, balik lagi?" mereka jawab, "Yah.. Siapa tahu kan hari ini mau nyumbang. Lagian kan kakak bisnisnya lancar, masak sih nyumbang seratus ribu aja gak mau?" － so much for good manners, eh?

Malamnya, walaupun sempat tidak habis pikir seharian, saya sudah hampir lupa dengan kejadian tersebut, sampai tiba-tiba ada yang LINE saya jam 23:57, and guess who, twas THAT guy!! My curiosities came back, and here's our heated conversation:

Do note bahwa kemarahan saya ditujukan kepada perusahaan tempat orang ini bekerja, dikarenakan cara mereka bekerja, bukan kepada orang ini semata-mata (if I wanted to attack him personally, I wouldn't bother to blur his name anyway). Kecuali di poin 19-22, where he subjectively judged ZARA in his *not even valid* argument wtf. -_-

Sampai sekarang, saya masih tidak habis pikir dengan pola kerja orang-orang ini. Yang jadi pikiran saya:

1. Kenapa mereka tidak up-front saja bilang, "Kami jual buku voucher, menarik lho, isinya banyak dan value nya bisa sampai dengan sekian. Selain itu, 10% dari hasil penjualan buku voucher ini akan disumbangkan ke yayasan anu." Bukannya malah 'menyamarkan' Penjualan Buku Voucher dengan Kesempatan Beramal (yang notabene hanya 10% nya saja dari jumlah uang yang diminta).

2. Kalau memang mereka itu sukarelawan yang bergerak demi alasan kemanusiaan, dari gerak-gerik saya yang langsung menyerahkan uang sejumlah yang diminta saja harusnya mereka sudah bisa melihat bahwa saya memang niat menyumbang. Dan karena saya sudah jelas-jelas menunjukkan gestur tersebut sebelum / tanpa mereka beritahu tentang keberadaan buku voucher itu, maka sudah sepantasnya (sebagai sukarelawan) mereka sadar bahwa uang tersebut adalah 100% hak YAI. Karena bukankah dari awal yang ditekankan adalah 'Charity'? Buat apa mereka susah-susah jualan voucher lagi kalau memang ada orang yang niat menyumbang 100% untuk YAI?
3. Apabila mereka sudah sadar namun tetap berniat memakai uang tersebut untuk penjualan si buku voucher (bukannya untuk langsung disumbangkan sepenuhnya kepada YAI), ada baiknya mereka menerapkan kewajiban untuk memberi penjelasan terlebih dahulu kepada setiap donatur mengenai aturan mainnya. Apa susahnya sih bilang, "Oh ya kak, tapi ini Rp. 10.000.- nya saja ya yang kita sumbangkan, sisanya itu jadi buku voucher yang kakak pegang sekarang". Unless they lack common sense ATAU mereka memang dapat komisi dari penjualan buku voucher tersebut, yang menjadikan mereka sekumpulan sales, BUKAN sukarelawan.

Karena penasaran, saya googled dan ternyata sudah banyak sekali komplain mengenai hal serupa yang dialami oleh saya, maupun hal lainnya seperti bidang ketenagakerjaan yang *lagi-lagi* penuh kedok / penyamaran yang ditujukan ke pihak GRANTON MARKETING; the creator and distributor of those voucher books. Dan ternyata, kalau memang yang tertulis di link ini http://mitamelati.blogspot.com/2008/07/hati-hati-mencari-kerja-di-pt-granton.html benar adanya, then those people I met weren't volunteers, they're merely sales. Para penjual yang mencari keuntungan pribadi dengan mengatasnamakan amal.

#SelfNote  #LessonLearned

Kalau mau menyumbang, lebih baik ke panti atau yayasan-nya saja langsung, tidak perlu melalui orang lain dan kalau bisa, pastikan dana tersebut memang sampai di tangan orang yang benar sehingga tidak akan disalahgunakan pihak-pihak yang tidak berwenang. Kalau bisa bantu tenaga, waktu atau barang-barang kebutuhan (contoh: susu formula untuk panti asuhan, dsb), mungkin malah lebih bagus lagi.

Some life lessons are supposed to be expensive. Untuk kasus ini, boleh dibilang saya masih cukup beruntung karena 'membeli' pelajaran ini seharga Rp 90.000 saja. Imagine if this involved bigger catch... How much would my own ignorance cost me? *smh*

Must learn to learn the details before making any decisions.

Coming to the end of this post... If any of you guys are curious or even interested to make a donation for YAI, here are their bank account number:
Mandiri 164000582421 / BCA 0845244010
Or you can click here for more information about YAI and other possible ways to donate.

While we're on this topic, here's a complete list of Charity and Non Profit Organizations in Indonesia http://www.charity-charities.org/Indonesia-charities/Indonesia.html
Thought it might come handy in the future. :)

Alright then, hope this post helps. See you guys on my next post. Meanwhile, take care and good luck! :D

Jessica Yamada

Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Youtube | Bloglovin | AboutMe

Bye Bye, Unwanted Hair!

Have you ever wonder why such thing as ARMPIT HAIR exists? Not only it's not pretty, it is also freaking useless. Couple months ago, Jess did a quick research and found this site dedicated for The (infamous) Armpit Hair, *Warning: Disturbing Image Attached* Hahaha. Not only underarm hair (nickname for pit hair) lah, we girls also questioning the existence of leg's hair, arm's hair, upper lip's hair (yes, it is a nickname for mustache, and yes, some of us DO have a tiny bit share of mustache lol), and not to mention PUBIC hair. Why... Oh... Why... T______T

So, in order to get that smooth and hairless look we want, we braced ourselves and went through Shaving, Threading, Plucking, Waxing, Sugaring, til the latest one: Epilating.

These methods DID remove the unwanted hair but -we don't know about you guys, but with us, the hair grew back in a very short period of time (uh, in less than a week?). It's kinda frustrating, not to mention the pain from waxing and plucking, and also the negative side effect from shaving (ingrown hairs, bleeding, etc.) Epilator was our favorite method so far, but it's also temporary.

Now now, while longing for the perfect way to remove all these unwanted hair, we found this piece of advertorial in a magazine not so long ago. It was about this hair removal specialist; ZAP. Quoting from the website:

"ZAP offers Intense Pulsed Light technology for Permanent Hair Removal. Its enjoyable and cost effective. ZAP is the most affordable Permanent Hair Removal in Indonesia. Price starts from Rp.75.000. ZAP is the specialist in permanent hair removal treatment using popular technology in Australia and other major countries in the world. ZAP uses only FDA and CE approved machine, and is supported by professional consultants. ZAP is the specialist in permanent hair removal treatment using technology that has been very popular in Australia and other major countries in the world. ZAP uses the most advanced technology in today’s world market in removing “unwanted hair” quickly, safely and pain-free. Technology used by ZAP has passed USA FDA and or CE. ZAP Indonesia has brought consultants directly from Australia to ensure ZAP to provide International Standard Services. ZAP Permanent Hair Removal is a new breakthrough in the treatment of the body that upholds the quality of services. ZAP offers best services and provide optimum results at competitive prices. ZAP OUTLET is in an easily accessible location in large cities of Indonesia, such are Jakarta, Surabaya and Bandung, in the future ZAP plans to open several new outlets in major Shopping Centers in major cities of Indonesia. Up to now, ZAP has done more than 25.000 treatment to more than 5000 clients mainly living in Jakarta, Surabaya and Bandung. with demographic market of 30% male and 70% female, SES A-B+, age within 17-45 years old. Through a unique concept ZAP introduced ZAP Permanent Hair Removal and its superiority to all people of Indonesia."

Ok it basically offers a completely safe and different technique from any of those methods we mentioned before. What makes it different is: ZAP offers us PERMANENT RESULT*! Imagine how much time we'd save PLUS how gorgeous those smooth and hairless body parts would look like!! So we thought: "Omo, this is meant to be!" and decided to give it a try ;)
*It took, more or less, 5 times for a best result for permanent hair removal, due to hair condition. It takes 6-12 weeks until 2 month for each treatment. Due to the different phases of hair growth, a waiting-period of 6 weeks should be necessary for the best result.

We went to the closest ZAP outlet which is located at Belleza, Jakarta. The place looks nice and we were greeted by their friendly crews. For starter, each of us were asked to fill two forms regarding our physical condition and some of our personal data. After that, they took us to two separate rooms and began the treatment (WATCH THE VIDEO PLEASE for the full progress, HAHAHA):

Okay the treatment was exceptionally PAINLESS! Both me and elle felt absolutely nothing but some kind of flicking? Haha and it was very comfortable (I even fell asleep during the treatment wtf) compared to the other hair removal methods we mentioned before. AND since ZAP offers greater result (permanent removal), we were expecting even greater pain loh... Hahaha turns out it was more effective, yet much more painless. The best hair removal method or what?? :D :D

Happy legs, hairless legs!

So, after longing for that perfect way for hair removal, we have finally found it and can happily say, "Bye bye, unwanted hair!"

♥

Jess & Elle
© Jessica & Elissa Yamada 2011
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
Click the links below for more info about ZAP ;)
Website | Twitter

Live, Love, Laugh!

We all want love in our life, we all want to laugh, but sometimes life can knock you down and toss you around a bit. When life does this to you, just remember these 3 words: Live, Love, Laugh.

 

LIVE 

Remember that we are not promised tomorrow, if you have lost someone close to you, you know exactly what this means. So, live your life to the fullest.

Wake up each morning ready to face life, ready to learn something new, ready to try something new.

Let go of your cares and engage yourself in life.

LOVE

First and foremost, love yourself. How can you love anyone else if you don't truly love yourself first. Be good to yourself, take care of yourself. Don't let others abuse you and stand up for yourself. Love others. Be kind, give a smile, a kind word, a helping hand. There is no greater emotion than love, so show it to others and yourself.

"A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it."

Hug is the deepest language to say "I love you" or "I miss you so bad"

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

LAUGH

Learn to laugh at yourself and at life. Laughter is a natural high. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Rent some funny movies, go to a comedy club, read a funny book. It has been proven that laughter can help sick people get better.

Keep laughter in your life. Sometimes you have to laugh when it hurts, because it can change your mood, lift your spirits, and keep you from letting life's battle field take you down. So always remember to live, love and laugh!

"A good time to laugh is any time you can."

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book."

"Remember, men need laughter sometimes more than food."

Article and Image source: all over the Internet.

♥

elle and jess

How much space is too much space?

When men date women they lose some of their personal space. There is nothing wrong with that — by dating you, they are agreeing to let you into their world to see how you like it. But like your space, their space is personal and to intrude upon it everyday will make him feel crowded.

Take a look at the table below to know your boundaries.

Too little space	Just enough space	Too much space
You call him up on the hour, every hour, throughout his workday	You call him up once, just to see if he’s had lunch.	You make it a point to never call him during office hours
Your weekend schedule starts with meeting him at 9am on Saturday and ends when you kiss goodnight at 10pm on Sunday.	You wait for him to call around lunchtime Saturday to meet for a movie and maybe a quiet dinner later on.	Neither of you call each other. After all, you’ll probably bump into each other at the flea market.
You know the names of all his girlfriends from age five onwards.	You know the name of his last girlfriend.	You don’t know if he’s had any girlfriends before you or not.
You insist on using your voice for his voicemail welcome message: “Hi, this is John’s phone, but he’s not available right now…”	His voicemail has his voice and your voicemail has yours.	His voicemail has the husky voice of some other woman you’ve never met, breathing, “John’s a little, um, preoccupied just now, but if you leave your name…”
When he calls, you know it’s him.	When he calls, you get a feeling that it could be him.	When he calls, you’re sure it’s not him.

 

Article source: http://bit.ly/mzRwrU

 

♥

elle and jess

Pick up your Spirits!

Mustard Cardigan and Leopard Dress from GOWIGASA

June+Julia's Febrina Suede Heels

***

15 quick ways to pick up your spirits:

1. Keep a running list of inspiring quotes and uplifting jokes. Refer to them when you need to.

2. Call a friend and ask her to tell you her favorite joke.

3. Fake a smile for 5 or 10 minutes.

4. Close your eyes for a few minutes.

 

5. Call your mom.

6. Look through old scrapbooks or personal journals.

7. Go outside. A few minutes of fresh air can do wonders for your mood.

8. Go for a very quick jog.

9. Keep a gratitude journal, in which you write down things that you are thankful for. This is a great way to start and end each day. For a quick "pick-me-up," write as many gratitudes as you can in one minute. Don't think; just write.

10. Make something. Use your creative mind, and create something with your own two hands, whether it is a piece of jewelry, a scrapbook page, a pretty floral arrangement or a batch of cookies.

11. What is your biggest goal (or your biggest problem)? Do one thing that will contribute to its completion (or its solution.)

12. Eat something healthy and fresh. You could be feeling blue because your blood sugar has taken a dip. Eat a bowl of fresh fruits or vegetables.

13. Pour a cup of hot cocoa or a cup of coffee and read a favorite magazine for a few minutes.

14. Turn on music. Your favorite tunes can really lift your spirits. Use classical and jazz to calm; rock and roll or hip hop to energize.

15. Mark Twain said, "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." He's right, and it doesn't have to mean a big time investment. Just do something thoughtful for someone, right now.

If your mood doesn't brighten right away, go with the flow, and accept your mood just the way it is. It is okay to be feel blue every now and then. Let yourself rest, and give yourself time to restore your own happy mood in your own natural time. :)

 

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/334147

♥

elle